Monday May 31, 010

my sexy Scorpio bff and ladies man Humphrey B Bear...

Michelle (above) and I went and saw SATC yesterday at the Grove (which was a clusterfuck of people with nothing to do but strut around the Grove).  We were on a mission! And that mission was to finally see SATC 2.

Loved it.  Pisces Liza Minnelli was amazing for all the surgery she's had - she has the body of a 30 year old!  Speaking of bodies, SJP's is a work of art.  Everything fits her perfectly, and her muscular legs are 'to die' as Virgo stylist to the stars Rachel Zoe would say.  And the rest of the girls look amazing too.  Samantha (Leo Kim Cattrall) is as horny as ever, Charlotte (Pisces Kristin Davis) is finally not living in fantasy land anymore and Miranda (Aries Cynthia Nixon) has a blast the whole movie!  So nice to see her smiling!

The men play a very minor role in this one - even Mr Big gets to play second fiddle to the fashions.  Samantha hooks up with 2 smoking hotties - young Noah Mills and older, wiser, very sexy Max Ryan  - who really stole the show for me and my gal Michelle!  Hubba hubba!  I can't find dates of birth for Noah and can only find Feb 1967 for hunkster Max...so he could be an Aquarius or a Pisces.

Go see it!

So what's in your stars for the next week?

Aries (March 21 – April 20)


Huge happenings for you are in your very near future. Jupiter, the planet of ‘right place, right time’ moves into your sign next week through mid-September. This means that you need to get crackalackin on finishing up all those boring but necessary details and jobs lying around that you have to do. Neptune retrograding in Aquarius through November means that you need to be extra careful certain friends aren’t robbing you of all your energy and good will towards mankind. Time to rid yourself of toxic people.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Take note of your dreams this week when Jupiter and Uranus join forces in Aries, your solar house of past karma and self-renewal. Listen to a hunch. Be brave and follow it if you really feel you’re ‘onto something’. It could guide you to the yellow brick road. Mars, the motivator of the zodiac is getting ready to set a fire under your precious buttocks starting this weekend. Don’t put it out whatever you do! Mercury the communicator spends his last week in your sign. Speak now or forever hold your peace bulls!

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

Jupiter and Uranus tag team your friendship zone for the next few months. It really is about whom you know and whom you meet randomly while out walking your dog, squeezing fruit in shops or drunkenly trying to pick up boys in bars. Network like you’re trying to flog a reality show and always dress to impress. You never know when a friend will invite you out for drinks after work and bring with a great connection for you. Daggy clothes and dirty thongs won’t do.



Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

You will start to feel an increasing desire and need for change this week and through the whole month. The lead up month to your birthday is always a ‘telling time’ and a time for you to get your life in order so you can take advantage of whatever the Universe has in store for you. Jupiter’s move into Aries this weekend ensures that whatever job you’re doing now, many of you won’t be doing for much longer – or you will get a raise or bonus that you didn’t see coming.

Leo (July 23 – August 23)

Say a fond and rather sad farewell to Mars the energizer cosmic bunny which has been hanging in your sign since late last year this weekend. He’s off to cause some mischief in your self esteem and resources zone. Money and all the good and bad stuff that comes with will be very much on your mind the next few months. If you’ve had a really ‘good run’, it’s time to put your wallet back in the stable and leave it there!

Virgo (August 24 – September 23)

If some of you feel as if ‘it’s never going to happen’ or you’re never going to succeed, things are about to make a huge swing in your favour. Mars, the stimulator of life moves into your sign over the weekend and you feel as if you can do anything. You’ll have more energy than usual. Don’t use it all up at once or in the one place. Take a chance on the lottery too if that’s not something you usually do.

Libra (September 24 – October 23)

With Jupiter setting up shop in Aries, your one on one relationship zone this weekend, you are really going to find that people are bending over backwards to help you and guide you. Aries and Sagittarians are especially helpful. Of course you can really help yourself too. Knowing when to speak up and be open to constructive criticism versus knowing when to zip it and stick up for yourself are important. Lucky for you your timing is impeccable.

Scorpio (October 24 – November 22)

Reconnecting with an old friend in early June stirs up all sorts of memories for you. Most of them good. It could give you a real chance to work through whatever issues forced you apart in the first place and also help you reconcile and improve your current relationships. Your ‘newfound old friend’ comes with good advice re a confusing family situation – most likely because he or she knows you and your family for longer than most.



Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21)

Your social life takes on a new lease of life this weekend, with the unexpected arrival of Jupiter, your ruler, the Diddy of the zodiac moving into Aries, your fellow fire sign and fifth house of self-fulfillment, creativity and romance. Single? A love at first sight type meeting is in the stars for those of you willing to take a chance on such whimsical fantasies. Aries, Leos and Gemini’s rock as far as potential mates go. Already hooked up? Break out the dusty sexy lingerie and give it a spin this weekend.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

Mercury spends his last week of his tour of duty in your creativity zone, so whatever you do, let your voice be heard! You’ve got some great ideas and you need to go with your gut instinct and the very first thing that pops into your head and your mouth. Mars dashes into your fellow earth sign of Virgo this weekend, your knowledge zone. Catch up on reading and domestic projects and refresh and re-center you, body mind and soul.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)

This week marks a sensational week for a random encounter. You could feel an instant connection, a rapport, a clicking sound when you set eyes on him or her, or even the sound of bells ringing. This connection is definitely something you’ve been wanting for some time, as if this meeting is kismet. Explore everything and if your old friends feel you are rushing in too fast, be appreciative of their advice but go with what you feel is right.

Pisces (February 20 – March 20)

Jupiter, the planet of abundance is bidding your sign adieu through early September and making waves in your cash flow zone. A lucky break in your finances comes just at the right time for you and or your partner. But don’t spend it all at once or all in one place! You could have extra expenses later on in the month. It’s also a great time to hang out with your siblings and enjoy being with someone who knows you inside out.



Till tomorrow,
 
Cosmic well wishes,
 
Astrogirl
 
http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

May 30, , 2010

behind bars!  Best place for this little peeing machine...he goes and goes and goes...wherever he wants!

Sunday May 30, 2010

Taurus beauty Audrina Patridge has ended things with chubby Ryan Cabrera, a Cancer, and an emotionally possessive creature at times.  Apparently Ryan was a party animal and was out late at night, which didn't bode well for stay at home domestic goddess Audrina?  Kinda weird break up excuse but that's what the publicists are trying to spin.  MTV made Audrina go to one of Ryan's concerts and clap for him etc but she cried becuase they had broken up and she felt stoopid...which she should have.  Does MTV have that much power over their subjects?  Guess so.

New couple alert.  Capricorn Ryan Seacrest and Cancer babe Julianne Hough are dating.  Previously linked for a few weeks to Pisces Dane Cook, the much younger Julianne has caught herself quite a prize in money goat man Ryan.  Big age difference - 14 years - but then again - this is LA. That's actually not a big age difference at all...lol. 

Today's birthdays include Wyonna Judd.  Whatever happened to her sister Aries Naomi Judd?  She kinda disappeared into obscurity. 

RIP Taurus Dennis Hopper.  You were a hard living man - you have some amazing stories to tell when you get wherever you are going...

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic Cheers,

Astrogirl

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Saturday May 29, 2010

Humpf and one his fav things...smelly flip flops

The Pratts have called it quits!  SPEIDI IS NO MORE!  Virgo Heidi has finally found a use for her brain and dumped her crazy hubby!  I guess the anisthetic from all those operations wore off and she realized he is a douche bag.  Heidi's moved out and Leo Spencer is left alone with his homey Charlie and his crystals. 

I forsee Spencer living a Howard Hughes existence...not cutting his toenails and peeing in bottles which he displays around the glass house...and maybe even becoming a Preacher in a few years time...or a hippie driving around in a combie van selling his crystals on Venice Beach..the possiblities are endless dear Spencer...but good riddance to Speidi and watch Heidi hook a really rich older guy next! 

Hey Heidi  - what about you and Tiger Woods?  Good match astrologically and we all know he loves blond plastic fantastic like yourself...Virgo and Capricorn...what a great idea!

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic Well Wishes,

Astrogirl

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Sad news re Aquarius Gary Coleman.  I think he was somewhat of a tortured soul here on Earth and whereever he ends up, it will be better than his time here for the most part. 

Friday May 28, 2010c

Me surrounded by 2 Librans - i need my balanced gals!

Quite an afternoon at Urth Cafe yesterday.  Gemini Alanis Morisette, fellow Aussie Isabel Lucas- Aquarius - and rumoured to be dating Prince of Persia Sagittarius Jake Gyllenhaal.  Previously she dated Cancer Adrien Brody and 'hung out' with Gemini Shia LaBeouf...when she was dating Adrien..but a car accident in which she and LaBeouf were both in ended that.  Speaking of Shia, can't wait to see Wall Street 2 - with Libra Michael Douglas.  Great match up astrologically.  Shia is dating fellow Gemini and 'it' girl Carey Mulligan at the moment and it looks like it's serious. Scorpio reality dragon woman Kelly Cutrone's coworker was there too - not sure of her name, one of the brunettes.

Leaving Urth I spotted Taurus Tori Spelling behind the wheel of  brand spanking new Range Rover - she looked good!  No doubt about Urth on Melrose...it's a cornucopia of celebs!  Me likey!

Sad news about Aquarius Gary Coleman today - a head injury  - never good.  He has been in and out of the news for mostly negative stuff - domestic abuse, being drunk in public etc - he has quite a temper on him that's for sure.  And a lot of health issues.  He entertained so many of us for many years and we wish him a speedy recovery.

Leo Simon Monjack - Brittany Murphy's tubby hubby - was buried next to his recently passed wife in a very quiet, private ceremony.  All very sad. 

There was a Full Moon in Sagittarius last night - did u see it?  Were you jittery?  Could you sleep or were you tossing and turning?  This Full Moon particularly affects Sagittarians, Aries, Gemini's and Librans.

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic Well Wishes,

Astrogirl

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Thursday May 27, 2010

as long as he's not chewing my feet..and yes the mat is dirty and yes it's been replaced...lol

Thursday May 27,

There's an upcoming Full Moon in Sagittarius tomorrow - 7.07 pm to be exact.  So today's lead up has us in a rather intense Scorpio Moon and could have us all feeling a little 'prickly'.  Keep off the roads unless you really have to be somewhere.  Avoid people who always make you feel as if you can't be you or that want to control you and really push you around and force you to do things you don't want to do.

DWTS, American Idol are over.  Aries Lee DeWyze won Idol.  Cance Nicole won DWTS.  It's time to become unglued from the TV and enjoy summer and some more light hearted fare.  Entourage is getting ready to begin!  Yeah!  The bad hair Bachelorette is something to watch and have a laugh over.  What a bunch of losers Ali got handed!  Poor girl. She left her job at Facebook to sit around with these schumucks? 
Jeffrey Donovan, a hunky Taurus is back in 'Burn Notice' with his sexy sidekick 'Fiona' in the show - hot name! 

Entourage resumes June 27 and I'm sure alot of you out there are excited!  A great LA show that really does depict what goes in in this wacky town!  Hung is back too - speaking of wacky - star Thomas Jane and his cuckoo wife Patricia Arquette - he's a Pisces, she's an Aries  - so it's a very dysfunctional relationship at the best of times - and in the long run, won't work.  They've already filed for divorce - but she decided to keep him around when he got the 'Hung' job. 

Today's birthdays include Andre 3000 from Outkast and Lisa Left Eye Lopes from TLC (RIP Lisa).

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic well wishes,

Astrogirl

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Wednesday May 26, 2010

Mr Aquarius - the ladies man - Humphrey B Bear...

What a night of TV!  Nicole Scherzinger - an exotic Cancer from Hawaii won - which was kind of an anti-climax.  Aries trainwreck Kate Gosselin - she of the wooden arms and legs and deer in a headlight stare was clumsier than ever.  There is something so annoying about this woman.  She has very negative energy and all the plastic surgery in the world can't or won't make her attractive.  She has a very sour puss on her face.  SOUR - that's the word.  And yet TLC have given her  2 more shows.  'Kate Plus Eight' and 'Twist of Kate'.  WHY?  Who wants to watch her?  Mind blowing America!

Tonight the world bids adieu to Libra Simon Cowell with the finale of American Idol and his last show.  No doubt the next few months will be full of rumours about who is going to replace him.  Replace him with Pises Bret Michaels!!

Cancer Lindsay Lohan must have watched herself on the TV and realized she looked like a witch with that black hair.  She went and dyed it a nice honey blonde - much better - and added extensions, which she needed.  Speaking of extensions...who the hell put all that Ms Piggy hair on Ali the Bachelorette.  She looks like a whiter version of Mariah Carey.  Her hair was fine before and yet they stuck this weird mop on top of her head and she had to 'rock it' even though she clearly felt weirded out with all this fake, frizy hair draped over her shoulder like a dead animal.

Fire these hairdressers!  Seriously!  Who puts a young girl in all that hair and a long dress she has to keep picking up because it's dragging in the wet driveway of the rented mansion in the middle of nowhere in LA - and it's freezing cold!  There's cold air streaming out of her mouth when she speaks into the camera.  She shivers at times.  Too cold!  Bad hair.  Bad dress pick.

Today's birthdays include Lenny Kravitz, Helena Bonham Carter and Stevie Nicks.  All very talented Gemini's. 

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic Greetings,

Astrogirl

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Tuesday May 25, 2010

please can i get up on the couch mummy??  I promise I won't tinkle....

What a sorry, sad sight was the arrival of Cancerian Lindsay Lohan at Beverly Hills courthouse yesterday morning.  23?  She looks 43.  Her black, greasy, thin miserable hair, heavy orange make up and furrowed brow...not a good look for such a young girl. And she has to wear an ankle bracelet.  No drinking whatsoever.  How has her life come to this?

Where was her useless mother - September 15 Virgo Dina Lohan?  FYI - Heidi Montag is also a September 15 Virgo...just fyi.  Her lawyer, sassy Shawn Chapman Holley represented fellow Cancer OJ Simpson, Aquarius Paris Hilton and Virgo Nicole Ritchie.  So she's well versed handling lunatics and nut jobs.

Why on earth she wants to surround herself with the dregs of society...i hope she has really hot water in her home!  Scrub off the grime!

Today's birthdays include Lauryn Hill (where are you Lauryn?), Anne Heche and Mike Myers.

And I am starting a movement to have Pisces Bret Michaels replace Libra Simon Cowell on American Idol next season!  Bret is a music man, he has a great personality and his likeability is at an all time high!

TEAM BRET!

Cosmic Well Wishes,

Astrogirl,

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Monday May 24, 2010

my baby boy Humphrey B Bear!  That's the camera strap hanging out of his mouth - he's sick of the flash!

Thought that Celebrity Apprentice was fantastic last night.  Great move on Snapple's part to match the Donald's $250,000 prize.  And he didn't fire Virgo Holly Robinson Peete either.  Bret was hired and it was wonderful! He was limping a little and looked very think and pale (despite all the self-tanner and make up he had on), but he's alive and he won!  Loved seeing his parents there - his dad was rocking a bandanna...and his daughter Raine - drop dead gorgeous! 

Sad to hear Scorpio Brittany Murphy's hubby Englishman Simon Monjak died of an apparent heart attack this morning.  he penned and produced 'Factory Girl' with Sienna Miller - which was actually a good movie.  Always thought he was creepy though.  Had the feeling he and his mum in law Sharon were doing the nasty...and he definitely looked like a heart attack waiting to happen.  For a 39 year old man, he was very overweight and unhealthy looking. I can't find his date of birth...so not sure what sign he is - he was a dodgy character that's for sure.

Today's birthdays include Patti LaBelle, Priscilla Presley and Roseanne Cash.

SO what's in your stars this week?

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

Uranus, the planet that both questions and challenges authority and allows us to arrive at new solutions to old problems moves into your sign this weekend. While only hanging through mid-August, you will feel a very positive shift in your life over the next few months. In Aries Uranus is ready to take off in new directions and be impetuous and impulsive. Your life is about to get a whole lot more exciting and amazing. And with a Full Moon in Sagittarius on the same day, this is one weekend you can be as crazy as you want to be!

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Mercury the common sense dictator in your sign alongside Venus your ruler in your communication zone has you voicing your opinion rather loudly this week. Much to the surprise of people around you. You’re normally more an ‘actions speak louder than words’ kinda girl, but you feel it’s time you had your say. Just choose your ‘speak up time’ wisely. Saturn, the sign that forbids too much fun finally moves direct in your self-fulfillment zone on Sunday. You can afford to be a little naughty girls!

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

Big revelations hit home this week. A Full Moon in your relationship zone combined with Uranus’s move into your hopes and wishes zone could have you reeling in shock and excitement. Your life is about to go through some massive changes, especially now that the Sun has arrived. Your cosmic year is here and it’s up to you to kick start it. An Aries friend finally comes through for you while a Sagittarian offers support when needed. Money issues finally sort themselves out too. Sigh of relief!



Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Venus the goddess of looking sexy and falling in love overnight continues to lighten your mood (and your wardrobe – as Venus tends to make you wear less clothes…). Are you using her to your utmost advantage and working your fabulousity? You should be. Channel sexy sexbomb Crab Jessica Simpson or Pam Anderson when you dress every morning. A Full Moon in your health and well-being zone midweek has you starting a diet or new exercise program. Need a makeover? Venus holds your hand the whole way.

Leo (July 23 – August 23)

You are in the cosmic mix very much this week, with Uranus moving into Aries, your spiritual zone and a Full Moon in your romance, self-fulfillment and creativity zone midweek. If you’ve pondered hitting the books and going back to Uni, stop thinking about it and enroll online already! And think about a career change too. Not immediately, but for those of you trapped at a desk when your true desire is to be an aerobics instructor or interior decorator.

Virgo (August 24 – September 23)

Finally, Saturn, the taskmaster moves direct in your sign and for the next two months, you will feel as if you are large and in charge! Uranus the unexpected surprise package of the zodiac moves into your eighth house of joint projects this weekend. If you have been thinking about real estate or some other type ventures, now’s the time to think about it more seriously. A Full Moon in your fourth house of home and family signals it’s time to move for some of you.

Libra (September 24 - October 23)

Uranus the planet of surprises shifts gears into Aries today, your one on one relationship zone. The way you react to others and vice versa is set to change, especially for you early Librans. Combined with midweek’s Full Moon in your communication zone, you could start shedding friends and acquaintances and finding new peeps to hang with. While you find it hard to end friendships, Uranus will force you to based on new and startling information that comes to light soon.

Scorpio (October 24 – November 22)

Money and how you spend it and save it has to change and you get a great idea how to micro manage your resources courtesy of the Full Moon midweek. Starting this weekend, Uranus, the ‘born to be wild’ planet has a mini vacation in your sixth house of hard work, service to others, health and well-being through mid-August. Working alone is your best bet while researching alternative ways to feel better, lose weight and exercise are going to be put in front of you.



Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21)

Your once a year Full Moon midweek puts the finishing touches on something or someone, giving you extra time and energy to expend on something or someone else. And the double cosmic whammy is the arrival of Uranus, the planet of unimaginable happenings in your fellow sire sign Aries, your romance department this weekend through mid-August. Sudden ends to partnerships and hot and heavy new relationships are all in your foreseeable future. Single? Not for much longer. Coupled up? Ditto for many of you…

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

Over the next few months many of you will relocate – for work, for love, for your sanity, or make sudden and rash renovations to your abode. This need for change comes courtesy of independent Uranus, which starts his march through your fourth house of domesticity this weekend. Reliving and expelling the past is in your workload midweek, when a Full Moon shining on your past karma zone brings up so not so pleasant memories or associations. Use the common sense of Mercury and charm of Venus to be the ultimate lady in dealing with everything.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)

Your ruler Uranus, the planet of the unexpected shifts gears into full throttle Aries this weekend, your third house of keeping busy and chitchat. You rediscover yourself in many ways through mid-August. A lust to be ‘doing what you love and loving what you do’ drives you to seek out a new job, a new partnership, a new city or country. And with midweek’s Full Moon stirring up your adventurous side, don’t think sudden change is far off. An Aries friend could be a catalyst to a whole new life for many of you.

Pisces (February 20 – March 20)

News flash! Uranus takes a blind leap of faith this weekend, leaving your sign for the fiery Aries playing arena through mid-August. Making money easier than usual or under unusual circumstances is very much on your cosmic radar over the next few months. And with a Full Moon beaming on your tenth house of career and ambition midweek, a new position at work or new job altogether brings with it some sort of financial bonus. Sunday you’ll notice a real shift in your attitude with Saturn moving direct. It’s time to forgive and forget girls.

Till tomorrow boys and girls,

Cosmic Well Wishes,

Astrogirl

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Sunaday May 23, 2010c

Lovely Gemini Lia and ladies man Aquarius Humphrey.  He looks cute and cuddly but i have bite marks all over me to prove otherwise...

So Lindsay Lohan is back on US soil and ready to front up to court tomorrow.  Seriously who cares?  I can't believe as I am writing this that I am writing this...she is a non-entity.  But we all love a train wreck don't we?  We can't look away can we?  A friend of mine who's in the 'biz' relayed a story to me about a friend of hers who was involved in 'Georgia Rules' - one of LL's last movies...and a movie she almost ruined with her behaviour (remember the open letter to LL in Variety magazine?)

Anyway, friend of friend went to Chateau Marmont, where LL was holed up - to get her - becuase she hadn't shown up on set.  When LL opened the door (looking like she hadn't slept in weeks), there was a big pile of white powder on the table.  In plain sight.  And guess who else was in the room?  Mumma bear.  Dina Lohan.  A Virgo - who is 48 but dresses like she's 18 (squeezing herself into whatever freebies LL gets).  Cancer father Michael Lohan is another one feeding off his daughter's fame - and no doubt partaking in any of the freebies he can get his hands on.  Someone from the outside is going to have to come in and rescue LL.

Tonight is the night we all hope to see Bret Michaels on Celeb Apprentice finale...wishing you strength and a speedy recovery Bret!

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic well wishes,

Astrogirl

xoxo

Saturday May 22, 2010

2 Aquarians - Daphne (Feb 6) and Humphrey (Feb 8)..love this picture!

I see in today's NY Post that Tiger Woods has got himself a girlfriend.  Someone who looks just like his long suffering wife who has escaped his evil clutches and taken off with half his loot! The new galpal looks exactly like his wife, she's young and he was seen driving her around in a golf cart during the week.

And Courtney Love (Cancer) is claiming a little girl on girl action with Capricorn Kate Moss - according to a published report...who hasn't Courtney Love slept with? Scorpio Gavin Ross, who's married to Libra Gwen Stefani among others.  Quite an interesting mix of Courtney and Kate...nothing would surprise me or you I'm sure.

Aries Jesse James admits he is the most hated man in the world.  Not just America.  Such  a humble man.  Can't wait to see what this cretin has to say for himself next week on 'Nightline'.  I think he and Lindsay Lohan should hook up next...imagine - or even better - Jesse James and Courtney Love - she is a tatooed train wreck like he likes.  And Courtney is such a nonentity at this time, hooking up with the most hated man in the world would bring her some much needed press and publicity.

Can't wait to see Celeb Apprentice finale tomorrow night.  Sorry self-righteous Virgo Holly, but the Universe is voting for Pisces all round nice guy and hottie Bret Michaels!

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic well wiahes,

Astrogirl

Friday May 21, 2010

My little ladies man Humphrey B Bear...Aquarius, with his Moon in Sagittarius and Mars in Leo...a little fire cracker of a dog  - a lot of work for a 5 pound animal! Ava the chocolate lab was away at 'camp' for the day, so Humpf had the run of the house and his choice of toys...and a big dog bed!

So Bret Michaels is back in the hospital.  A hole in the heart now.  Seriously?  Surely all of these illnesses are connected?  An appendectomy, a brain hemorrhage and now a hole in the heart?  Bret has suffered from diabetes all his life and along with his hard rocking lifestyle - maybe it's all catching up with him?

And what about the Celeb Apprentice finale this Sunday night?  How is it going to work without Pisces Bret? Are we simply going to have to look at hours and hours of footage of Bret with the occasional glimpse of Holly Robinson Peete - a hard working/martyr Virgo.  And while Bret and Holly are opposite signs - they do get along because Bret recognizes Holly's dedication and Holly appreciates Bret's creativity and sense of humour. Maybe they will do a live feed like Oprah did?  Still - not the same and I'm sure Gemini Donald Trump is bummed re ratings. 

Aries mongrel Jesse James is still refusing to believe his 15 minutes is over.  He wants to be in 'Sandy's life and little Louis's life'.  He is hoping that a Nightline interview next Tuesday will help his battered image.  I don't think him diving into the ocean, wrestling a great white shark and saving someone's life would get him back in our good graces.  Give up Jesse.  You should have thought of all this before you started creeping around on craigslist looking for skanks. 

Interestingly enough, June is a very important month for Jesse and all Aries.  Jupiter and Uranus move into Aries and totally random, unexpected slices of good luck can and will occur for Aries.  I will be talking about this more as we get closer to June...but don't be too surprised if in a strange twist of fate, Jesse James and Leo Sandra are reunited - briefly.  Remember when Aquarius Rihanna went back to beater Taurus Chris Brown for a few weeks?  It's like the last hurrah.

Lindsay Lohan is supposedly back today at LAX - the press and paparrazzi are camped out at the airport awaiting her arrival.  Seriously who cares about this washed up girl?  Lock her up and throw away the key.  People in nightclubs can rejoice!  No more drinks thrown on them for a few months!

Today's birthdays include Lisa Edelstein and Mr.T.

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic Well Wishes,

Astrogirl

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Thursday May 20, 2010

Aries me, Ava the Capricorn brown lab and Humphrey my baby boy Maltipoo - the Aquarius...

So Cancer Lindsay Lohan got her passport stolen in France and is unable to get back here to the US to attend her court ordered appearance?  A bench warrant has been issued for her.  For goodness sake - when is this girl going to get it?

France can have her!  Stay there Lindsay!  You're a bloody nuisance and they can have you!  French people are generally rude, arrogant and major snobs.  Sounds like you've found the right place to be stranded. And why not make it a family affair?  You, your wretched mum, way too old looking for a 16 year old sister, wife beater wearing father and the rest of the Lohan load and move to France!

So great to see Pisces Bret Michaels on Oprah via satellite from Arizona yesterday.  He is still suffering - he's not the 'old Bret yet', but he's alive, and he's going to be better than ever!  So nice to see his beautiful daughters too - they are both knockouts! And can't wait for the finale of Celebrity Apprentice - team Bret all the way!

Watched 'The Hills' last night.  Is Leo Spencer for real?  is this just 'acting' if you can call it that?  Virgo Heidi had a lobotomy along with her plastic surgery.  She's as dumb as they come!  She is doing a really good job of making herself look like a dumb blonde.  Heidi and Spencer are headed to soft pornville here in the valley.  Vivid Entertainment has them on speed dial no doubt!  She looks like a porn star, he looks like a crystal wearing pimp.  2 lost souls in lalaland...

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic well wishes,

Astrogirl

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Wednesday May 19, 2010

June gloom is here well and truly here early - I'm still in Laguna and it's grey and cloudy with a hint of rain...hence the look on Capricorn Ava's face...

Great news about Libra Kelly Preston expecting a baby with hubby Aquarius John Travolta.  They have been through a lot as a couple of late with the death of their Aries son Jett in the Bahamas a few years ago. It's going to be a wonderful experience for them to go through the whole 'baby' thing again and a way to renew their love not only for each other, but for life itself again.

At 47 years of age it's also a miracle!  But hey - Hollywood makes miracles happen everyday doesn't it?

American Idol getting down to the wire tonight, while season finales of 90210 and various other shows mean that we have a while to wait until the new seasons start.  Maybe give the TV a bit of a rest and start doing other more meaningful things?  Like reading?  LOL

Till tomorrow

Cosmic Well Wishes

Astrogirl

Tuesday May 18, 2010

my Leo bff and I in Laguna Beach - cooking up breakfast and writing my blog...

So watching Dancing With the Stars last night I couldn't help but think that Kate Gosselin, with her longer blonder hair and her purple conservative dress sitting fully made up next to gross Jake the ex-bachelor and ex-dancing star...that she thinks she's Princess Diana!

Watching her I wondered if she was channeling Princess Di in some way? She's even taken to waving out of cars like Princess Diana...kind of funny/scary what fame does to some people. Aquarius Jake the ex everything will no doubt have some sort of nervous breakdown if the camera isn't on him for a week.  Maybe it's time for a sex tape Jake?  Vienna looks like she's up for it! Maybe a sex tape with Princess Di/Vienna?  Spice it up...lol.

Birthdays today include Tina Fey who's career is skyrocketing with her movies, 30 Rock and SNL.

Capricorn Matt Lauer continues to deny his marriage is over - while his mother in law continues to insist  the marriage is over.  Usually one would side with the monster-in-law.

Mercury is well and truly back in his groove, so go ahead and send out those checks and make those plans.  The Universe is on your side!

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic Well Wishes,

Astrogirl

www.astrogirl.com.au

Monday May 17, 2010

the girls on my birthday night at Firefly...Katie and Susanne the Leos in forefront, Kelly the Virgo and Julia the Gemini in the back.

So Rachel Uchitel is getting her kit off again?  And getting paid for it again? WOW - this girl is working it for all she can - 'An Affair to Remember' for sure.  $10 million dollars for sleeping with the Tiger and now $250,000 for Playboy.  What next?  A tell all book?  Am sure Gloria Allred (Cancer) is behind Rachel's desire to use this affair to her advantage. She is getting 20% of this money - so why not push for more?

Celebrity Apprentice was kinda rough going last night.  Donald fired the ladies in a not so nice way - especially Sharon Osbourne.  I just hope Pisces Bret Michaels gets it together and wins!  Team Bret!

So what's in your stars this week?

NW FOR WEEK COMMENCING MAY 17-23, 2010

BY ASTROGIRL

Star couple –Celeb Apprentice star Scorpio Curtis Stone (Nov 4, 1975)  & Sag Lindsay Price (Dec 6, 1976)

Scorpios and Sagittarians are very different cosmic cuppas! Curtis is much more private and ‘insular’ than happy go lucky Sag Lindsay.  With her Moon in Gemini and Mars in Sagittarius, Lindsay loves adventure and is very happy in a crowded party with her man, while Curtis prefers one on one time.  Their Venus placements however are super compatible.  They like looking at each other and being with each other and that says a lot!

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

You’re on a cosmic roll right now and with the Sun moving into frisky Gemini over the weekend, you’re brimming with ideas.  Take stock of your financial situation and then make some bold but safe moves with any monies you do have.  Venus moves into your family and home sector.  If your flatmate is driving you mad or you really do need to move out of your current crib, find a way to get rid the roomie and start packing.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

While you very much live by the motto ‘actions speak louder than words’, sometimes it’s nice for others to hear you utter words of love, praise and  encouragement.  You tend to be more of the strong silent type, but with Venus your ruler moving into your communication zone, you will be called upon to utter more than a few token syllables.  The Sun is packing up and getting ready to quit your sign.  You remaining bulls are the lucky ones of your herd. Buy a lotto ticket on the big day.

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

Venus bids you adieu midweek.  When Venus switches from your fun loving energy to the emotional sign of Cancer, it can feel like going from being elected Mr. or Mrs. Congeniality to being elected Mr. or Mrs. Sensitivity.  Watch you don’t drop a few clangers over the weekend and set off the smoke alarms!  Drama!  With the Sun moving into your sign over the weekend, the start of your solar year is upon you.  Multi-tasking is your thing.  Enjoy!

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

You love nothing more than being called in to solve problems and fix upsets.  But make sure you’re not doing for others what you should be doing for yourself.  Think twice disgruntled committed Crabs before calling it quits with your partner on Sunday. Venus is fresh in your sign and getting negative feedback from Pluto.  You’ll be super sensitive and reactionary. Same for those of you ready to rid your life of frenemies.  You actually like having controversial people at your dining table don’t you?

Leo (July 23 – August 23)

Those of you born August 8-15 have some big decisions to make over the next two weeks.  Luckily the Sun in your hopes, dreams and friendship zone for the next month helps out.  Gemini’s are your lucky charms and while you tend to get stuck in neutral, they happily speed through your gear box and get you back on track!  Mars spends his last full month in your sign.  Joined the gym yet?  Getting back into shape?  You have the energy and the motivation right now.  

Virgo (August 24 – September 23)

Saturn the taskmaster spends his last week retrograding in your sign.  You’ll be in a very different place and mindset in a month.  It simply means having to maintain your composure and let the drama swirl around you, while you dodge it and keep on keeping on.  Something or someone from your past comes back later this month to teach you whatever lesson you didn’t learn last time you dealt with them or it.  It’s imperative you catch on and follow the chosen path this time.

Libra (September 24 – October 23)

There’s a real balance astrologically right now.  The Sun in your fellow air sign of Gemini, Venus moving into watery Cancer, Mercury direct in earthy Taurus and Mars in fiery Leo.  You like balance, and this is one of those rare times when the planets are cooperating and allowing you to shine.  You will be called upon more than once this week to settle a score and let peace prevail.  Just the sort of work you were born to do. 

Scorpio (October 24 – November 22)

Venus sets up shop in Cancer this week, your long distance travel zone.  Single? A chance meeting with a sexy foreigner is in your stars.  Or for those of you with the travel bug, it’s safe to book your ticket now.  Mercury is well and truly back on track.  You’ve also got the green light to pursue a certain someone that has been evading you recently.  Larger than life Jupiter continues his tour of duty in your romance zone, so you have nothing to lose.

Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21)

Onwards and upwards for you, with Mars spending his last few weeks in Leo, your ninth house of higher learning.  You are an open book when it comes to knowing pretty much everything and you love letting the facts rip (and being right) when people least expect it.  Avoid lazy, uninspiring people and spend quality time with upbeat, optimistic go-getters.  Aries, Leos and Gemini’s are all great go to mates. Finish up those projects you’ve let fall by the wayside this weekend.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

You’ve got great astro components working for you this week, with communicator Mercury in your romance zone and Venus moving into Cancer, your relationship zone.  Single?   Make sure you are out and about and accept every invite that comes your way.  Settled? Sex up your partnership by being proactive in making romantic dates you will both enjoy.  However, if you know that your relationship has hit a brick wall, it’s time to take a sledgehammer to that wall and hammer your way to freedom.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)

If you feel you are being led astray by a new array of friends, now’s the time to check in with someone you’ve known forever, or someone who knows you better than you possibly know yourself.  The Sun’s move into Gemini later in the week has you feeling slightly scattered.  Focus on one thing at a time and don’t get distracted when something is really important and does need to be done.  Mars spends his last few weeks in your relationship zone.  If you need help, ask for it.  You will reply in kind when needed.

Pisces (February 20 – March 20)

Jupiter continues to help you out this week, presenting you with marvelous opportunities and fairy godmother type new friends.  Venus, the goddess of love and beauty moves into Cancer, your self-fulfillment zone later in the week.  It really is all about you right now.  Don’t feel like you’re hogging the limelight or asking too much.  You probably are but you’re totally entitled to do so! Allow your creative juices to flow and be open to starting a new hobby.  Single? Cancers and Taureans are both great matches for you.

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic Well Wishes,

Astrogirl

xoxo

Sunday May 16, 2010

2 Aquarians - Humphrey and Daphne.  Humpf was born Feb 8, while Daphne is Feb 6...very cute together and it was nice to see Humphrey with a little person...

I see Lindsay Lohan has been on the 'turps' again.  In Australia we call alcohol/booze 'turps' as this is what a lot of alcoholics drink to get high - turpentine (paint thinner).  Yes we have alot of drunks in Australia!   And as much as Lindsay Lohan says she doesn't drink, why is she then throwing drinks in people's faces?

Lindsay Lohan "threw a fit" last night in a New York City club, tossing a drink into a model's face, according to a New York Post source. The model was with New York Rangers player Aaron Voros.




Voros, his girlfriend, and Rangers teammate Sean Avery were seated at a prime table at club 10ak. Lohan "wanted to be at their table near the DJ," one of the Post's multiple witnesses reports. LiLo didn't want to sit with Voros, alleging he was her ex-boyfriend and she didn't want him near her.



Voros denied knowing Lohan, pushing her over the edge to throw a drink into his model girlfriend's face. Lohan demanded the entire table be moved out. Bouncers refused her and Lohan left shortly after.



"There was total drama for absolutely no reason," a Post source said.



Lohan seems to have a penchant for drink-throwing and rabble-rousing in clubs -- she tossed a beverage into ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson's face in February and had a recent blowout with Avril Lavigne at the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood.



Last week, E*Trade -- who Lohan sued for using a "milkaholic" baby named Lindsay in their commercial -- filed a massive heap of court documents to argue that Lohan lives in California, and not New York as her lawsuit stated. So how are they trying to prove she's a California girl? With hundreds of pages of gossip stories linking Lohan to Los Angeles clubs, incidents and yes, arrests.

Lindsay is a Cancer, born July 2, 1986.  So she's a young kid!  She's 24.  And living a very full life yet not getting any work it seems like.  With her Mercury and Venus in Leo, Lindsday has a very real need for a lot of attention and love.  She has Mars in Capricorn so she does have a very strong, good work ethic - it's just that her social life is spiraling so out of control, she is impossible to work with.

She's really talented too - as talented as many other young stars - like Kristin Stewart (Aries - 20), Megan Fox (Taurus - 24) and Leo Hayden Panettiere (Leo - 20).

These girls are all making money and getting on with their lives.  90210 is full of young, up and coming stars too - Anna Lynne McCord - a fellow Cancer and gorgeous gal of 23.  Lindsay - no one is waiting around for you to grow up, get sober and stop this ridiculous  behaviour!

I had a very swanky dinner last night with big wigs in the music industry at Simon LA at the Sofitel Hotel.  No star sightings - in fact the joint was kinda lame...the only interesting thing was that one of Tiger's whores - Jamie Something or other...there were a few Jamies...then again, when you're banging 125 plus sheilas, names are bound to double up! Jamie is the one with the missing teeth...maybe Tiger had her take them out?  Easy access?  OK...enough...

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic Cheers,

Astrogirl

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Saturday May 15, 2010

Humphrey's ladies man status continues...here he is with lovely Portugese Lia, a Gemini.  Lia was with me when we went and 'picked' Humphrey out of the litter...so they have a bond...

As you can probably tell this bloody 5 pound dog has taken over my life - seriously!  All i do is run around after Humphrey, wiping up poop and wee and letting my home be taken over by squeaky toys.  Not easy for me - Aries with Venus in Taurus!  I like my things in order! But Humpf has his own studio apartment set up in my living room.  And that's the way it is.

Hopefully all this running around means i will lose some weight.  I was in Marshall's the other day   - waiting patiently in line like every one else, when a woman inspecting my cart (I was buying a gift for my bff's 2 year old Lily) asked me when i was due!  Yes people...she figured i had another one in the oven and was buying stuff for my little one...the horror!

Not the first time someone has asked me that question...my cleaning lady asked me if i was going to turn the spare bedroom into a nursery.  At first i thought she meant for plants??  But then i realized...no...she meant when was i having a baby?  The horror!  She is no longer working for me!

So hopefully Humphrey will run me around so much I will lose my pregnancy 'glow'.  LOL

Until tomorrow people,

No celeb news today...all quiet on the western front...

Astrogirl

xoxo

Friday May 14, 2010

Humphrey B Bear the ladies man of Maltipoos with Libra Shelley...he has Venus and the Sun in Aquarius, so he likes a little bit of Libra...

And yet again another Capricorn has gone astray and been kicked out of the marital home.  Matt Lauer - December 30, 1957 has split with long suffering wife Annette Roque after 3 kids and many years of marriage.  He has been busted cheating before, but this time it looks like the wife has had it.  Aging and balding Matt played up while covering the winter Olympics.  He and his wife are denying all of this and for now, she is sticking by her aging, balding man.  So NBC in more strife. First the Aries Conan versus Taurus Leno drama.  Then Tiki Barber and his young squeeze at the expense of his pregnant wife of 10 years and now Matt....the peacock is in trouble.

Gemini Kendra Wilkinson has a sex tape.  Who doesn't these days?  Well amongst celebs anyway (and I know more than a few friends who have sex tapes floating around...).  She was young, no plastic fantastic as yet and she didn't know she would become uber famous.  Ride it out girl.  Make your money and keep on keeping on.  Kim, Paris, Pam to name a few...

Today's birthdays include fellow Aussie Cate Blanchett and English man Tim Roth.

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic well wishes,

Astrogirl

xoxo

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Thursday May 13, 2010

Humphrey and his beloved flip flops - as soon as anyone walks in, he rips them off their feet and...enjoys the flavour and aroma!

So what's up with Brody Jenner & Avril Lavigne?  Is it really real?  She doesn't seem like his type at all.  His ex Jayde Nicole was plastic fantastic - there are pics all over the Internet of what she looked like before her crazy brow lift and boob job.  But they keep on keeping on...here is some info on them...

Star Couple – Leo Brody Jenner(August 21, 1983) & Libra Avril Lavigne (Sep 27, 1984)


Leos and Librans are a good mix – fire and air – and these two seem to be really hitting it off. They got matching tattoos recently – the word f*uck – how romantic! So did Brody put the word f*uck anywhere near the tattoo of his name Jenner?  That would be kinda funny!  Both Brody and Avril have Mercury in Virgo, so there are no communication problems here. Plus they respect each other and genuinely like each other. His Venus in Virgo makes him super picky when it comes to love. His type has usually been Playboy tarts like Jadye Nicole (Aquarius - also from Ontario Canada like Avril) and pretty blondes like LC and Kristin Cavallari. Avril is a total tomboy who just ended her marriage to Aries Derek Whibley. However they do seem totally enamoured of each other and Brody has become a skater boy/surfer dude of late…cute! He's taken up surfing and is wearing plaid shirts, grown a beard and a trucker hat seems permanently attached to his springy curls.  Avril is a flat chested, snaggle toothed cutie - but no LC or Kristin.  But hey, maybe he's sick of high maintenance chicks?  Jayde Nicole sure seemed/looked like a lot of work! And Brody's mum Linda Thompson approves.  Linda Thompson was Elvis Presley's girlfriend and was with him when he died! Linda is a Gemini and now married to producer David Foster.  Geminis and Librans get along so no doubt her and Avril (both air signs) enjoy hanging with each other. Meanwhile this is how Brody should look in my opinion...

hubba hubba....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I prefer Brody looking like this...such a fine specimen of a Leo man!

And Cancer Jessica Simpson is making a cameo on Entourage this season!  Can't wait!  Bring it!

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic well wishes,

Astrogirl

xoxo

Wednesday May 12, 2010

Sexy Surly Girl Scorpio Michelle with Humphrey - the ladies man...of the dog world...

A neighbour just commented that Humphrey looks like Paddington Bear and indeed he does...except he's cuter.  Aquarius Humphrey (with Mars in Leo - hence the spaz attacks he has on the regular where he bites me and growls and barks and runs around terrorizing the furniture and my cushions and pretty much everything he can terrorize.  He then falls in a heap and sleeps for an hour before waking up and starting all over again.  Men.  You can't live with em, you can't live without em...

A New Moon in Taurus tomorrow combined with the forward direct movement of Mercury the communicator of the zodiac makes this a scrambled day for everyone, especially Taureans and Scorpios.  BUT with tomorrow's New Moon at approx 9.04pm brings with it a wonderful chance to undo all the trouble Mercury has caused.  I know of 3 people who had fender benders while Mercury was out of phase.  2 poles and one hook got em!  Just simple scrapes but still...Mercury retrograde is a time when clear thinking goes out the window and we are all in a bit of a fog.  Tomorrow the fog clears!

Congrats to my beautiful gal pal Laura McLauchlin and her TV appearance on 'Rules of Engagement' this week.  You go Sag girl!  And her bf Paul Duke - hubba hubba!  The next action star from Austria since Arnold baby!  And a Leo!  Stay tuned for more updates on these 2 gorgeous creatures!

Today's birthdays include all boys - Tony Hawk, Stephen Baldwin, Emilio Estevez and Jason Biggs.

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic Greetings,

Astrogirl

xoxo

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Tuesday May 11, 2010

NO MORE PHOTOS!!

Aquarius Humphrey B Bear is sick of having his photo taken!! He just wants to chew my feet, pee and poop willy nilly all over my house - which is now his house! Puppies are tough!

So happy to hear that a divorce is in the stars for 2 Capricorns - Elin and Tiger Woods.  She is working out how to take her kids to Sweden and raise them there with limited Tiger visits.  Do you blame her?  He has shown he is not a fit father - he takes Ambien on the regular and is away all the time traveling.  Ambien is not something to be taking all the time.  I know of people who have lost everything or come close to it thanks to Ambien.  Tiger has had the world on a string for many years.  That feeling of 'I deserve this, I am owed this' is not going to go away overnight.  All the therapy in the world can't undo the harm Tiger has done to his family.  Those kids should be in the depths of the wilderness in Sweden or wherever and not be able to read, hear, look at or know too much about what their dad did.  So if Elin can get them out of the US and to Europe and to some sort of peace and quiet, I applaud her. Plus her twin sister and brother in law look and seem like nice people and she will have the support of her family and her country behind her.  And i know she will meet someone nice, kind, normal and loving to remarry one day and live a calm and nice life - courtesy of Tiger's money. She is way too young and pretty to live out the rest of her life alone. Plus her first marriage was pretty much a joke - unbeknown to her he was rooting around from the get go. 

Same for Sandra Bullock.  That Leo has a lot more roar in her!  I strongly feel she will meet someone new and 'normal' sooner than later.  maybe a single father who shares her job and the loneliness of bringing up baby alone? Just no actors or celebs - how about a nice Doctor, Lawyer, Agent or even a plumber??  Aries Reese Witherspoon has found love and normalcy with her agent new love Jim and looks great!  Leo Debra Messing married a lawyer.  Sagittarius Britney Spears and her Sag man Jason Trawick seem to be going strong. 

Today's birthdays include Holly Valance (fellow Aussie) and Natasha Richardson (RIP).

the countdown to the second SEX AND THE CITY movie is on!  May 27 here we come!!

Till tomorrow,

Cosmic Cheers,

Astrogirl

xoxo

http://www.astrogirl.com.au/

Monday May 10, 2010

Ladies man Humphrey B Bear and my girl Virgo Mariquita...he loves the ladies!

Urth Cafe on Melrose yesterday for lunch with my Surly Girl Scorpio Michelle, we spotted hottie Maksim Chmerkovskiy and tall blond Taurus Erin Andrews coming out of Le Quitodien and being ushered into 2 different cars...Max in a sporty white Mercedes (with dealers plates...) and her in a big silver Escalade.  They followed each other in the cars and am sure went off for some more 'practice'.  Lucky gal!  Taurus and Capricorns are great matches.  Both earth signs, they are both honest and practical when it comes to relationships.   Erin is ruled by Venus, the goddess of love, so she is really into being in a good, solid relationship.  Capricorns can tend to be more of the player type - but when they meet the one, they can settle into a nice, normal, healthy relationship.

Maksim was  previously engaged to fellow dancer and fellow Capricorn Karina and broke up rather unexpectedly.  2 Capricorns together don't usually work.  2 of anything don't usually work actually...

Today's birthday include Bono, Sid Vicious and AManda Borden.

No let's look at the week ahead for you...

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

Mercury moves forward and there’s a New Moon in your self-esteem and wealth zone this week. It’s very much a time when you are reassessing your priorities. Cutting up credit cards or hiding them from your greedy little hands might be a good idea. You tend to go on shopping and spending sprees and then regret it. Buyer’s remorse was targeted towards you. Single? A friend suddenly seems much friendlier. Are you willing to test the friendship lust waters with him?

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

Big news in your sign this week, with Mercury, the king of communication resumes its forward motion and a New Moon in your sign highlights all those things that you need to toss. The next fortnight is the best time to begin a new adventure. ‘Old with the old in with the new’ has never been more appropriate for you. You tend to get stuck in ruts. Don’t mess up your fancy manicure. Grab a shovel and dig your way out.

Gemini (May 22 – June 21)

Finally! Your ruler Mercury is reporting for work this week. But he usually takes a week or so to really warm up and get motivated to do anything. So hold off on making any ‘mad moves’ just yet. Just know that when you’re ready to make your grand reappearance, the world will be ready too. Librans and Aquarians are really good ‘go to’ peeps for you at this time. Love weaver Venus spends her last week in your sign. Get that long overdue haircut/makeover now.







Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Positive, healthy planetary play in your dreams, hopes and friendship zone makes this the perfect week for you to showcase your talents. Draw inspiration from those friends who have really made good on their promises to both you and themselves and done whatever they set out to do. Allow the New Moon midweek to really inspire you to finally do something you’ve been banging on about for way too long. And with Mercury finally moving direct, it’s time to kiss and make up with that bff you had a silly tiff with recently.

Leo (July 23 – August 23)

Mars the planet of ambition is the reasoning behind your constant need to be out in front. Like an Olympic athlete you are on the mark and ready set to go. The only thing that has been holding you back has been fear. Fear of failure. But as the old and very wise saying goes ‘it’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all’. Remember that this weekend when you dare yourself to do something. Follow through. You have Marsian and energy on your side.

Virgo (August 24 – September 23)

New places and spaces attract your interest this week under the Taurus New Moon in your solar ninth house of higher learning. Taking a course or class is just what the cosmic doctor has in mind for you. Solo? You could connect with a potential love story while traveling or attending a reunion. Taureans are purrfect matches for you. Venus in your career zone is just what you need workwise too. Just make sure you come through when needed and if you talk yourself or something up, the words had better ring true!

Libra (September 24 – October 23)

This week’s New Moon could fatten your bank account with a raise, bonus or windfall. Buy some scratchies and lotto tickets with a Taurus if you have one handy (and one you can trust). Caution is needed however with investments. Don’t put your funds at risk too much (like cashing in your super to buy real estate on the advice of a know it all friend). Mercury turns direct this week in your joint resources and projects zone. It’s time to get the band back together!

Scorpio (October 24 – November 22)

Relationships really fire up this weekend once Mercury the planet of chichat moves direct in your one on one relationship zone. If you had a silly falling out with someone, it’s time to stop being so ‘on point with your point of view’ and realize that not everyone thinks along the same lines as you do. Being easygoing is not easy for you most of the time, but it’s imperative that you relax or you will lose people who mean a lot to you (not that you would easily admit it).





Sagittarius (November 23 - December 21)

Just as you question what the hell you’re doing workwise, a New Moon in your hard work and dedication zone makes you realize that you haven’t been putting in enough or getting enough back at your 9-5 grind. Venus the schmoozer spends her last week in your relationship zone, so make sure you network (suck up) to whomever it is you need to network (suck up) to. Listen more than you talk and take any and all advice to heart. If you don’t have a mentor, get one.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)

Accept every invitation that comes your way this week. You’ve become somewhat of a hermit of late, with Mercury retrograde. It’s time for you to break out of your cave, shave your legs, wash your hair , put on the war paint and get back out there! This week’s New Moon hits home in your romance, self-fulfillment and creative zone. If you’ve ever thought of taking up painting, drawing or sewing, this is the time to do it. Single? Love is in the air for you goats.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)

Family relationships are never easy for you loners of the zodiac. You like your alone time and your down time and family tends to be needy. Lucky this week’s New Moon shines on your home and family zone this week and with Mercury moving direct too, you can cope with whatever comes your way. It’s a great time for you to tackle household repairs, projects and improvements. Or just clean up around the flat…for those of you who cringe at the thought of ripping out tiles and painting.

Pisces (February 20 – March 20)

Be the one to approach someone for a makeup session. Even if you feel you weren’t the main player on stage, being the first to try to smooth things over is great karma for you. Mercury direct and a New Moon in your communication zone promises things will go well and you’ll be back on track. A short trip somewhere fun is also in your stars. Road trip! Grab your bff and your cute and fluffy pet and hit the open road. A winery, mountain or spa is awaiting your arrival!


Till tomorrow,

Astrogirl,

xoxo