Luigi the kick ass Aquarius Pomeranian...he's a showstopper!
Today's birthdays include ABBA Agnetha Faltskog (the blonde with the big bum) and Colin Powell.
Cancer Lindsay Lohan is up to her old tricks again and something does need to be done. Falling over pot plants, squatting and twittering, screaming at the paparazzi, speaking in a bad English accent...it's gotta stop. It's time for a Britney style intervention. Although Lindsay's dad Michael just got out of jail and seems to be quite an 'interesting character' to say the very least. Her mom Dina is another story - she seems to have traded in her mommy genes for skinny jeans...and now that she's broken up with Leo Samantha Ronson, she needs to either stay home or check into rehab. If she can afford rehab.
Not only is Tiger an adulterer, but he's a major liar too. Love his old kindergarten teacher on TV with Cancer Gloria Allred by her side (does this woman every sleep?). Tiger apparently lied about a racially fueled schoolyard episode - that he was tied to a tree and the N word spray painted across his chest while the teacher stood there and did nothing. Anyway the kindergarten teacher has had enough and is fighting back. Just what Tiger needs right now!
Meanwhile what's Elin doing? is she divorcing him? I have been reading that the marriage was an arranged one - which kinda makes sense. She was a nanny to another golfer and it could of been more of a business agreement than a love match. So if it was an arranged marriage, then maybe she is under contract to stay with him? All this going on in the boring world of golf!
Anyway, enough about these celebs, what about you and your week?
Read on people...
Read on people...
Aries (March 21 – April 20)
Avoid earthlings like Capricorns and Virgos this week if possible. Chances are there no nonsense (boring) approach to pretty much everything will have you feeling like the biggest drama queen on the planet. While not far from the truth, you don’t need to be reminded of that all the time do you? Someone’s got to overreact to everything right? Money worries are just that. Worries. Curb your eating out expenses and cut back on luxuries like nights out hunting boys with the girls.
Taurus (April 21 – May 21)
You’ve got the two personal planets Venus and Mercury on your bull team this week. You’re unstoppable and whatever or whomever you desire you will get. Make sure it’s the right choice before setting your sights though. You don’t like change, but this year is all about change. Especially when it comes to your friends, hopes, dreams and wishes. While you will be letdown at times, at least you will know where you stand. A Capricorn could let you down big-time this weekend.
Gemini (May 22 – June 21)
Stop pretending you’re okay with something when you’re not. There’s easygoing and then there’s being a complete pushover. With a few tweaks and changes, things could be fantastic – it’s simply a matter of fine tuning your life. A sudden change involving your career or home (or both) are possible. For many of you, relocation or downsizing your home is in the very near future. Renting out a room or your whole house while you bunker down with relatives or friends is one way to cut costs.
Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
If you’ve been thinking you need to head back to Uni and get a degree, the time has come to stop thinking and take action Crabs. Saturn, the headmaster of the zodiac retrogrades backwards into your third house of communication and knowledge. And while coworkers surge ahead with their careers - thanks to their diplomas so smugly mounted on their office walls…you are stuck in second gear aren’t you? Smooth things over with a difficult neighbour or relative this weekend. The feud is getting old.
Leo (July 23 – August 23)
Your popularity at work soars with Venus and Mercury in your solar tenth house of career this week. Socializing with coworkers makes sense right now, but don’t get caught up in the trap of becoming too friendly with someone who might ultimately have to fire you. Your words are likely to be repeated too, so no tea room gossiping, no matter how juicy your tale is. Check and double check your credit card statements and bills. An error could have you forking out more than need be.
Virgo (August 24 – September 23)
Saturn, the limits and restrictions planet retrogrades backwards into your sign midweek through late July. A dose of having to redo and revisit all sorts of things is in your very near future. Strained relationships and feelings of uncertainty for those of you in both old and new partnerships are part and parcel of Saturn retrograding and Uranus the planet of the unexpected in your relationship zone. Someone you think is a friend or lover could very well disappoint you sooner than later.
Libra (September 24 – October 23)
If you’ve been existing on a steady diet of chardonnay, mixed nuts and the occasional dinner of fish and chips or meat pie, Saturn is getting ready to go all ‘Jillian Michael’s on your behind’. Saturn retrograding in your twelfth house of self-renewal through late July gives you a break from his tyrannical ways in your first house of ego, but pushes you to really reinvent yourself. Job stress is on the rise for you too so a clear head (meaning less chardonnay, more water) is part and parcel of the new improved you too.
Scorpio (October 24 – November 22)
You’re in sync with pretty much everyone this month with Venus and Mercury the personal planets cozying up in your one on one relationship zone. With a little effort you can bring long lost friends and frenemies together again. However, for some of you, a strained relationship is nearing its ending and you couldn’t be happier. Stop thinking about the loss and think of the freedom you will have when you no longer have to deal with this person!
Sagittarius (November 23 – December 21)
A career change is very much in your stars through late July, with Saturn, the authority figure setting up shop in your tenth house. Downsizing is as possible as a step up, so you’ll want to be alert to what’s happening around you. Luckily for you you’re a crowd pleaser and always have an ally in the right corner. You’re the sign that rebels most against authority but right now, the sign that needs the most discipline in your life. Listen to the advice your elders are dolling out too.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 20)
Your week begins on a rather somber note girls, with a serious Moon in your sign combining its energies with Pluto on the last day before Pluto turns retrograde in your sign. You can take advantage of this heavy hitting energy by keeping your eye on your prize in front of you. Being ambitious is your forte and in your sign, the focus is usually on things that have to do with your career, or male authority figures, like your father or boss.
Aquarius (January 21 – February 19)
You often get pegged as the maverick of the zodiac – always out and about and putting out fires. With personal planets Venus and Mercury stirring up trouble in your chart, a time out from stubborn friends and family members is recommended. Snuggling up with your pet and/or partner on the couch is also a good idea. Your ability to laugh at yourself comes in handy this weekend when a family member challenges you to a duel of sorts. Ignore the challenge.
Pisces (February 20 – March 20)
If you are finding you do indeed have a taste for ‘chaos’ ask yourself if you’re trying to avoid thinking too much about what you’re up to versus what other people are doing. Getting caught up in drama is an escapist thing for you. And with Saturn retrograding back into your relationship zone midweek, chances are people will be asking you for all sorts of favours. Compromise is needed in order for you to get your stuff done and helping out others.
Till tomorrow,
Cosmic Cheers,
Astrogirl
xoxo
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